Recipe: Chicken Schnitzel

I hate chicken breast. Hate it. It’s dry, it smells funny, but it’s good for you. Here is a recipe that makes it not so good for you. But it is delicious.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1 cup panko
  • 1 tbs paprika
  • 2 tbs oil
  • Salt to taste

TOOLS:

  • A heavy board
  • Meat tenderizer
  • Fry pan
  • Tongs
  • Bowl
  • 2 plates

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Beat the crap out of the chicken with the meat tenderizer, making sure it is all the same thickness. Use the heavy board to protect your counters.
  2. Beat the egg in a bowl. Spread the flour with paprika mixed in out on a plate. Spread panko out on your second plate.
  3. Dust each side of the chicken with flour, dip it in the egg, then cover each side thickly in panko.
  4. Heat oil in pan until a bead of water flicked on it causes it to sizzle loudly. Using tongs, lay each chicken breast gently in the pan.
  5. Cooking time is going to vary based on thickness of chicken. I cooked mine for 4 minutes each side.

Recipe: Chicken Pasta with Salami

Wait, what? Salami?? Why would you do such a thing? Well I’ll tell you why. I had a birthday party recently, and had almost an entire tray of salami left over. When cooking greens – bacon. When cooking pasta – pancetta, guanciale. So… why not? P.S. It’s delicious.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 lb chicken breast
  • 6 slices of Italian salami
  • 3-4 large cloves of garlic
  • 1/2 tsp each of dried oregano, thyme, rosemary (1 tbs each if fresh)
  • 1 cup white wine (or chicken stock, but seriously, wine is better)
  • 3/4 lb of linguini (or spaghetti)
  • 4-5 tbs of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup grated parmesan (not shredded)
  • Salt to taste
  • Optional toppings: pepper, fresh basil, parmesan cheese

TOOLS:

  • 5+ qt pot
  • Deep sauté pan (or any other pan with a 3 qt minimum)
  • Pasta ladle
  • Spatula
  • Bowls
  • Knife and cutting board
  • Meat tenderizer (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. If using fresh herbs, chop them as fine as you can. Put them in a bowl.
  2. Dice the garlic, and set aside.
  3. Slice the salami into strips and microwave for 30 seconds.
  4. Put the chicken on the cutting board and hit it repeatedly with the meat tenderizer (optional). Slice the chicken into bite sized pieces.
  5. Mix the oregano, thyme, and rosemary and about 1 tsp salt into the chicken.
  6. Using the deep sauté pan, cook the chicken in 2 tbs olive oil until done. Put chicken in a bowl so it does not continue to cook, and take the pan off the heat.
  7. Boil about 8 cups of water. Add enough salt to it so that it tastes almost as salty as ocean water.
  8. Add the 3/4 lb of linguini (or spaghetti) to the water. You can go ahead and add the whole 1 lb box if desired, but it will impact your meat to pasta ratio.
  9. As for the the sauté pan, put it back on the heat and add the rest of the olive oil, salami, and garlic. Cook until garlic is starting to look golden.
  10. Immediately deglaze the pan with 1 cup of white wine or chicken stock.
  11. Check your pasta regularly. When it is almost done (just a tiny bit crunchy), remove it from the water with a pasta ladle and transfer it directly into the sauté pan.
  12. Add about pasta boiling water as needed to the sauté pan.
  13. Cook until pasta is al dente, and then turn off the heat.
  14. There will still be some liquid left. Add grated parmesan and stir vigorously.
  15. Mix the chicken in, the residual heat from the pasta will warm it up.
  16. Top (or not) with pepper, basil, and/or parmesan.
Put the cooked chicken aside.
Time to add the wine.